Giving Thanks

I haven't written in a month.  It really feels like I'm slacking here.  It's true.  I am.

The main reason I haven't been posting anything is because there is nothing to post about.  Seriously.  I've been working Monday-Friday since July.  I haven't done too many terribly interesting things outside of work what with football season going on and my general desire to be lackadaisical.  Also, lack of money plays a big ol' role in my unworthiness for a public forum to discuss myself.  What should I talk about.  Sports?  Maybe.  The fact that I joined Planet Fitness?  Nah.  How in love I am?  NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR THAT SHIT.  Eff it.  I choose to blog anyway.

Perhaps the thing that I should be blogging about is my undying dedication to all you jagaloons back east.  I am here to announce that I will be coming home for Thanksgiving (cue that Diddy song...I think it's Diddy).  I'm going going back back to Bethesda Bethesda.  I'm like LeBron except doughier and much, much poorer.  I have taken my talents to the Pacific Northwest, but I'd like to think I haven't been a dick about it.  Let's face it.  I miss you clowns, and I wish to see all your cheery faces.  As long as they don't look like the one from the current season of American Horror Story.

November - end of November i.e. Thanksgiving time - will mark six months that I have been away.  Pretty crazy to think it has already been that long.  Considering I never thought I would leave in the first place makes it all the more surreal.  If you know anything about me, you know how nostalgic a person I am - I reminisce more than Jessica Tandy in Fried Green Tomatoes.  Someone can check that reference.  I would like to come back and immerse myself in the pre-life-altering-decision-but-it-was-for-the-best familiar environment.

As we all know, flying across country isn't the easiest thing to do.  Nor is it the cheapest.  In fact, at Thanksgiving trying to fly is like putting 20% down on Tiger Woods' estate in Florida.  A plane ticket
over the 'giving is more than double what I could normally get a plane ticket for.  If I flew back this week, it would have been cake - if cake cost around $300.  Anyway, we made it work by selecting Spirit Airlines as our return flight home.  Now if you've followed this blog, you probably know my feelings on Spirit.  I wish them the same fate as Gwyneth Paltrow in Seven.  It doesn't matter if that comparison doesn't make sense.  You understand what I mean.  They are so miserable that the Gin Blossoms would love to sing about them.  But sadly, they make flying affordable.  And I feel like if it's for only one leg of the journey then I can stick it out.  I probably wouldn't have come back if I had to take it twice in the same trip.

We managed to get our two tickets to paradise for under $1,200, miraculously.  Here is where you all should feel indescribably honored:  I opened an additional line of credit strictly for travel expenses.  Ya got that?  I love you guys so much that I'm risking PROPERTY FORFEITURE to come see you.  Okay, it's not that bad.  0% financing for the first year!  What's an extra couple grand of debt when you make $30,000 less than you used to?  Meaningless!

Okay, so mark your calendars Maryland, D.C., and - begrudgingly - Virginia (actually I envision no scenario where I will be spending significant amounts of time in Virginia.  I kid, Virginia!  Sort of.)  Tuesday to Sunday of Thanksgiving Week.  I will be blessing you all with my presence.  We can catch up.  We can explore old haunts.  We can get sick on alcohol because I am actually concerned for my liver.  Reunions can be terribly taxing on the body.  More importantly, for those that have not met this smokin' blonde she-devil that sank her teeth into me and didn't let go, you will have the opportunity.  We are charging a modest $4.00 for each question you ask her.  Cash only.  Please have your money ready.  No seriously, I will give everyone interested in hanging out the details of our whereabouts on that weekend.

Since I'm posting this now, I suppose that implies that I won't be posting anything until after Thanksgiving.  I'm not in a position to commit one way or the other on that.  Let's hope I do.  I need to hone my craft.  Yeah, blogging is my craft apparently.  After this gobbledygook we can all see I need more reps.  Catch you all on the flip side.  Can't wait for next month!